UNRAVELING THE SEX MYTH (PT 1)
MAKING LOVE VERSUS HAVING SEX
Sex is probably the most interesting topic in the world.Most decisions we make have a relationship with sex. Are you asking how?Let me tell you.When a man picks his suit case, gets into his car, heads for work to make money, it is because he wants to take care of the person he is having sex with or to take care of the products(children) of his sexual activity.Or he is pursuing success so as to get sex from some lady he now adores. It is funny, isn’t it?Funny but true. Research has it that there is a big relationship between a man’s sex drive and his success drive.Men with high libido usually are very successful people.
When a woman does her make up, wears a perfume, and looks scintillating, she is doing it because she wants to look ‘sexy’ for her man or for possible suitors. Subconsciously all women do this. There is a Calabar proverb that says, “If you see a married woman in the morning clean the house thoroughly, cook a good meal, and sing while she is doing it, it is an indication that it went well with her husband last night in the bedroom.” When I first heard this proverb, I laughed and tears filled my eyes. But as I gave it thought, I realized that it was true.
We do what we do for some sexual reason, believe it or not.
Even our very existence came as a result of sex, whether you are a legitimate or illegitimate child.
But here is what I seek to explore. I seek to help us distinguish between making love and having sex. There are a lot of myths surrounding sex, aren’t there? You simply have to watch the movies. As a teenager can you remember the huge, pleasurable expectations you had about sex?How did it turn out when you had your first encounter? Let me leave that to you.(lol) For most, it was, “Is this it?”
Plenty people have sex but few make love. Sex is a gift from God but can be perverted. Whenever you sleep with a person you are not committed to by marriage, you are not making love , you are having sex. If you say you love the person, commit maritally to the person.Sign the agreement. Love is commitment, not just declaration.
If you delight in sleeping with a number of ladies or a number of men for sexual pleasure, you are not making love, you are having sex. This is selfish, and love is not selfish. That way you are thinking of yourself, your satisfaction.
If you are married, and all you do is climb on your wife, do your thing and turn over and snore aggressively, then you are not making love but having sex. Mr Husband!(My people will say,’Ette’) look at your wife.Look into her eyes. Don’t you see the frustration? Don’t you think she deserves to be satisfied? Or do you not know?Have you not read? Will you not read and learn? Hmm. Don’t wait until she tries it somewhere else. Or you don’t think it is possible? She is a christian, shebbi? Ette Kamba (big man) don’t take your marriage for granted.
If another woman shares your bed with your wife, you are not making love, you are having sex. If another man sees your nakedness even when you are married, you are not making love, you are having sex.
And for singles who have the courage to read this(Speaking in pidgin: YOU GET MIND) If you are sleeping with your boyfriend, you are not making love, you are having sex. Don’t you feel used and dirty after the act? If you are not feeling dirty or guilty, then your conscience is seared. You can kill. You are like Satan.Guilt is sign that your conscience is still alive.
If you are living with a man whom you think will marry you, you are not making love, you are having sex.If you delight in sleeping with married men or married women, Children or animals, are you making love or having sex?It is yours to answer.
For more interesting articles of George Essien, Life coach, Motivational Speaker and Peak Performance Consultant visit http://www.georgeessien.wordpress.com. To have him speak at your event you may call 08187133153.